Withdrawn Behavior
Is this normal?
Babies have an innate need to connect with the people who are caring for them from the moment they are born. Babies do need some downtime as well as stimulation, though. Too much stimulation or contact can make them uncomfortable. Babies might need to look away for a moment and break eye contact with the person who is caring for them. Since babies need breaks, it's normal for them to avoid connecting with their caretaker sometimes. Moms and dads learn how to be with their babies in ways that work for them when everything goes well.
Babies and kids have different personalities, just like adults. For example, some kids are naturally shy and quiet until they feel comfortable in their settings. People who care for or have a child who is shy will change to meet their needs. They will begin to understand that any modifications should be made slowly and that the child should be given enough time to get used to new things.
Good things that you can do
Watch a baby that seems shy and pay attention to what they are trying to say. Try to get to know them better slowly as you talk to them more. Start slowly and consistently show interest in them, their play, and their conversations, while still giving them the room they need.
Remember how they've grown.
When to worry about
There are times when acting distant is a sign that something is wrong. If a child's behavior changes in a way that you can see, it means that something is wrong. On the other hand, acting distant all the time is also bad for healthy mental and social growth. It is important to know what is going on with the child and think about how it fits with their age and stage of growth.
If a baby or young child acts distant, quiet, or unresponsive compared to normal, it could be because they are scared or worried. Younger kids and adults have a "fight or flight" reaction when they are stressed or feel like they are in danger. However, babies can't fight or run away, so the only way for them to stay safe is to show "extreme passivity." It's simple to think that the baby isn't aware of anything when they are just sitting there. In the case of babies, we know that the scary sounds of domestic violence can make them seem quiet or even asleep. Babies may withdraw as a way to protect themselves.
Things to think about when helping a parent or helper
Some babies are quiet and submissive when they feel like their parents, usually their mother, is not there for them emotionally. If the mother is unhappy and doesn't feel supported, it may be hard for her to meet the needs of the baby and their emotions. As a result, the baby doesn't feel understood. The baby might give up trying to connect if things don't get better.
There are times when behaviors are misunderstood, and there is a lack of conversation between the parent and child. One example is that a parent might mistake their child's usual need to take a break from them for rejection or even a dislike of their care. If the adult then tries to get back in touch too soon, it makes the baby feel stressed and uncomfortable. The child might then try to stay away from the parent. People have called this "chase and dodge," where both the parent and the baby want to stay in touch but also want to get away.
It can help adults who are taking care of babies and children to picture what they are going through. If it makes the parent uncomfortable or makes them feel empty and alone, it might have something to do with what happened to them as a kid.
Think about whether the parent and child might need more specialized help to improve their bond.
Some parents think that sending their child to parent-infant treatment or other specialized care could help strengthen the bond between the parent and child and get things back on track. Getting therapy can help a parent figure out how their own bad parenting experiences from the past are affecting their parenting now and how they can change how they react to their baby's cues.