Anxiety

How normal is it?

Children and babies will all feel scared or anxious from time to time. This can happen when they have to deal with difficult jobs, new people (this is called stranger anxiety), or being away from their main caretaker (this is called separation anxiety).

Another time kids might feel anxious is when they start something new, like nursery school, move, or have a child.

There are times when a child may have severe anxiety, but most kids just have a little worry once in a while.

Anxiety in toddlers and preschoolers in general

Kids this age may feel nervous when they have to do something new, like going to daycare, moving, or having a kid. Because they can't always explain or understand how they feel, it's important to be aware of how their behavior might show that they are anxious.

There are six signs that a child is feeling anxious.

They might start to cry, cling, or get angry.

When they lose control, they might do bad things.

They might not be able to fall asleep or stay asleep, or they might wake up during the night or have bad dreams.

They could start to wet the bed.

Here are five ways to help kids who are feeling nervous.

Let kids know you're here for them to talk about their worries: Tell them that you've seen that they look worried and that you'd like to listen and help. But don't make them talk if they don't want to. Try to get them to play with you, and stay close by. For young kids, it's easier to talk when they're busy with something else, like drawing or going for a walk.

Get them ready for change: If you know that a kid is going to go through a big change, like having a sibling, switching schools, or moving to a new house, it's best to try to get them ready for it ahead of time. If they are starting nursery school and you think they are more worried than excited, you can talk about how normal it is to feel a mix of emotions. Like, "It's very exciting to go to big school, but it's also fine if you feel a bit scared."

Be sure to show that you understand how they feel and that you agree with them: It's normal to want to quickly calm down a worried child, especially if you don't think the worry is that important. But remember that something small to you could be very important to them. Spend some time listening to the child and getting a sense of their specific fears, feelings, and thoughts before you try to comfort them. It could take a while, but keep at it.  It will show the child that you care about them and their fears. As they get older, this will help them build relationships based on trust. For the child, it also helps them learn how to think about their feelings as they grow up.

Give me some different ways to look at a worry: After you've really heard what the child has to say, gently show them other ways to think about their worry. To illustrate, if a child is afraid of a certain event occurring, assist them in thinking of other possible results that are not as bad. You are teaching the child how to deal with their fear by doing this. Besides that, they will start to be stronger.

If a kid is shy, don't put too much pressure on them: Some young kids get very shy and nervous when they're around other kids. The best way for these kids to slowly gain confidence is with extra help and encouragement. If you put them in the spotlight before they're ready, it will only make them feel more nervous and open, and it might take them even longer to gain confidence.

Getting babies to deal with general worry

When a baby is crying because they are upset, the best way to calm them down is to hold them close and talk to them in a gentle voice. It's not bad for babies to be picked up when they're upset or nervous; it just makes them more dependent on you. That's because it helps them become more trusting and strong. In fact, having these will help them become more independent.

Anxiety about Strangers

Around six months, kids start to show signs of "stranger anxiety." This is how kids feel when they meet new people or are left in the care of people they don't know. Nothing is wrong with this. It can be scary for babies when they have to meet or be cared for by someone they don't know. This is because most babies grow attached to the people who care for them. Fear of strangers can happen to kids up to about three years old.

Four signs that a baby might be scared of strangers

When babies are scared, they show their feelings more strongly. For example, they might cry out loud, act fussy in a way that isn't normal, become quiet all of a sudden, and start to look at the stranger with fear in their eyes.

Three ways to deal with being scared of strangers

Quickly answer: If you answer these messages as soon as they happen, the baby will be calmed down more quickly.

Calm down the baby: For babies, being held or gently talked to can help them feel better.

Feel safe and 'ok' with the new person: The parent should try to show the child that you are a loved and safe person for them to be with if you are the "stranger" and the parent is present.

Alternatively, you can tell the baby this if you are watching them and they get scared when a stranger comes in.

This kind of reassurance makes it more likely that the baby will form safe attachments with new caregivers. As a result, the baby will feel more confident going to new places and meeting new people!

Pain and fears

It is normal for kids in preschool to develop phobias or fears of certain things, like bugs, animals, water, and the dark. A phobia is a severe fear that makes the child very upset and has a big impact on their life. If a child is so afraid of dogs that they will never go to the park to play, that is called a phobia.

Two ways to help kids who have fears

Do something about the fear: Fears generally go away on their own, which is good news. But it's important to deal with them properly at the time so the child feels understood and cared for.

Help the kid talk about their fear, and do something about it together: Lead the child to talk about their worry and help them find ways to deal with it. This makes kids feel safe and, more importantly, helps them understand, talk about, and control their feelings as they get older.

Make a health crisis worse

During a health emergency, people are more anxious, and babies and children quickly pick up on the stress of their parents or caretakers. They might feel less stable and become more needy, clingy, and demanding. They may also act like smaller children (regress). Please keep in mind that this is a normal attachment behavior.Families and adults who care for babies and toddlers will teach them how to spot and deal with their anxiety as they get older if they name it and respond with comfort and love.

TIP: If you're stressed out in front of kids, try really hard to control it. They can tell. It's important to try to stay cool no matter how you feel. These things not only make kids feel safe, but they also teach them how to deal with stress.