Crying

How normal is it?

Babies and little kids often cry to let you know what they need or how they feel. This is fine and good. A baby's cry could mean that they are hungry, tired, cold, hot, uncomfortable, sick, overloaded, bored, or just want to be close to you.

For many of the same reasons babies cry, toddlers cry too. They also cry to show new and tough feelings, like anger or shame.

What's the most a baby will cry, and will that change as they get older?

Most babies cry the most between the ages of six weeks and twelve weeks. The baby will cry less and less after this point. By the time they are three months old, they will usually only cry for an hour a day.

Some babies will cry a lot before they are three months old, though. Every day they might cry for more than three hours! This could go on for more than three days or even three weeks! Often, it's not clear what causes someone to cry a lot.

How much a baby cries may depend on many things, such as their personality and how they act. The fact that they cry so much sometimes could just mean that they can't control their feelings yet. It might sometimes have something to do with how their parents or caretakers act and behave.

(Sometimes crying too much is caused by something else, like being hurt, sick, or having stomach problems like reflux. If you ever think that crying could be caused by a medical, health, or safety issue, please get professional help.)

Giving babies and children more peace of mind about the things that make them cry

As you learn to recognize when a baby is upset and what makes them upset, you can use words to help them feel less scared of the "bad" thing that is happening.

You can use a word that they will soon start to understand to "label" their problem. You could bring up the idea that something can be "too hot" if you know that a baby cries or acts badly when they have to wait for food that is too hot. For instance, making a loud blowing sound or motion and saying "hot" over and over. Babies should learn over time what "hot" means and that they need to wait when food is "too hot."

For example, if a baby is scared by a loud noise, you can calm them with a hug and talk while doing so. For example, you might say: "Wow, that was loud Sound!" It shocked you! Don't worry, I'm here to protect you. The door was just shut by the wind. Here's the door that went BANG!"

This does a lot of important things. It tells the baby what happened and helps control his or her fear by making the baby feel safe and comfortable. Using the word "noise" or calling their feeling "shock/fright" will also help them learn the words that describe how they feel or what is making them scared.

They will be less afraid of the same thing happening again if they act this way. Because of this, they'll be less likely to cry about it. Also, they will know that you understand how they feel and are there to help.

It can help kids feel better to talk about how they might be feeling about what made them upset. You could talk to them about what was going on, like if they were crying because they missed their parents or caretaker.

"Do you miss your mom?" is one thing you could say. She went shopping. She will come back after that. Let's look at a picture of you and her on my phone. That's her. "That's your mom; she'll be back soon."

You could do this by pausing in between questions and making funny faces to show that you understand where they're coming from and care about how they feel.

Things you can do to help a child who is crying

It would help if you could take steps right away to build a connection with a child in your care that makes them feel comfortable telling you about the things that are bothering them. When they are upset in the future, they will know that you will be there to listen if you do this.

You could tell a child to tell you what was bothering them if they start crying about something specific but won't say what it is. You can also bring up the subject yourself if you already know what made them angry and then ask them how you think that event might have made them feel.

Kids should also be told to name their feelings so they can learn about the different kinds of emotions. As an example, you could say. Did x make you sad, mad, or scared when it happened? You could also ask them where in their body the feeling was coming from.For instance, "Does this make sense to you?" Or is it just in your head?

If a little kid is upset but can't say anything, pay attention to their body language and other signs. It helps to name the child's thoughts and "be with it" even if they can't talk.

Although some little kids may be able to talk, they may not be able to fully explain why they are sad or upset. And that's okay. "We feel sad sometimes and don't know or can't remember why right now," you could say."

Kids cry over things that adults think are silly or not important enough to bother with. They should always feel like you believe their feelings are real and that you understand why they are having them, no matter what. They might be less likely to open up to you in the future if you don't.

If a kid starts to cry because they were given a yellow plate instead of the purple one they wanted, you could tell them,"I know you really wanted the purple plate." I agree that purple is a pretty color. I agree that purple is a beautiful color. This time, though, we couldn't give it to you because there weren't enough of them! I bet that made you sad, right? But this yellow plate you have is so pretty! That yellow plate would make me feel so lucky. Yellow is a beautiful happy color.

Again, if a child is crying because another child took something important from them, it's important to support them and understand how they feel. Aside from that, you can help them "label" their feelings before you give them something else to play with.

It can be hard when someone is crying for a long time and very hard. In the event that the child is being cared for by someone else and you are feeling tense or worried, you might want to leave the room for a short time.

Parents and caregivers who are having a hard time with too much crying

There are some things you can do to help a parent or caretaker who is having a hard time with a baby that cries a lot.

Assure them that crying is common and will go away in time, even if it's hard to handle. Be sure to let them know it's okay to feel angry and useless too. Make them feel like they can talk about how they're feeling and help them understand that they might be feeling this way.

Tell a parent that watching their baby is a good way to figure out what they need and what might make them cry. Even when their baby isn't crying, they should keep thinking about how they might be feeling all day. They can see if their baby cries more at certain times of the day or in certain places. They can also listen to hear if the crying changes when they need something different, for example. From when they're hungry to when they want to be cuddled or are bored.

Tell them to be calm and attentive when someone cries, no matter how worried they are. Even if it's hard, stress how important it is to stay calm when you're trying to calm a crying baby. Babies can tell when you're stressed. Seeing or hearing stress in a body, face, or voice can make them feel even worse.

People can get help from you to understand how their babies feel and then talk about those feelings. One example would be "Are you tired?" Wet or hot?Even if it doesn't stop the crying, this can help the baby feel safe and heard. Babies' feelings get too strong very quickly, and they depend on adults to handle them for them.

Help them see the crying in a different way. You might say that everyone has needs and that we can talk about and show those needs in any way that works for us. Their baby has needs, but they can't say what those needs are because they can't talk or use the same tools we do. That's why they cry. Instead of being a "stressful problem that needs to be solved," you could say that it's just a little person trying to say that it wants something.

Celebrate and praise the good things that the parent or caretaker is doing with their child, and do what you can to help them feel better about their own self-worth.

Help them use skills that calm them down, like rocking or singing, and support their efforts.

Check to see what else is going on in the family that might be making it hard for them to handle the crying baby. You might want to keep an eye out for certain "risk factors." They are connected to worse results for kids who cry a lot and their families. Some of these are family mental health issues, drug abuse, poverty, and problems in the couple's relationship. Watching parents hold their crying babies can help you figure out if a parent needs extra help to care for their child. Pay attention to your gut and get more help when you need it.

How crying can change the way a parent or caretaker interacts with their kid

Most of the time, crying will help a baby connect with their parent or caretaker, but this doesn't always happen.

It's supposed to be hard to hear people cry. Babies cry to get adults' attention and to get them to take care of and protect them. This two-way process usually helps the baby get to know the person who is taking care of them. A baby learns that they will likely get help if they need it or feel unsafe or exposed if the parent or carer answers to their needs over and over again.

Their relationship with their parents or carer will get stronger as a result, and they will feel safer. These relationships are called "attachment relationships," and they are very important for a child's growth.

However, kids don't always respond well to being calmed down, which can be hard for a parent or helper to handle. Plus, if they are already very tired or worn out and have other worries in their lives, it can be even harder for them to deal with things. They might feel scared, helpless, or angry. This can make it hard for parents to respond to their kids in a way that meets their needs because the babies are crying. Families or people who care for babies might not feel emotionally strong enough to meet their needs, or they may not want to try as much.

When a child cries, it can be hard to deal with, just like when a baby cries. This is especially true if the parent is dealing with their own unmet needs or worries.

When a child's crying can make a parent or carer feel very strongly

Sometimes, hearing a baby cry can make a parent or caretaker feel very strong emotions. This could happen if the parent or carer hasn't fully dealt with a traumatic event from the past. For example, they may have been through violence, abuse, neglect, loss, problems with their own bond relationships, or other things that hurt them mentally.

At this point, a parent or caretaker may feel overwhelmed by the fact that they now have a baby who needs them for everything, as shown by their crying. It's possible for the parent or caretaker to feel too much fear and worry when this happens. It's possible that this will make you want to pull away from the baby or make you feel hostile and angry. From a baby's point of view, hearing their parents react to their cries can be confusing, scary, or make them feel alone. If a child doesn't get the extra care they need over time, they probably won't be able to form a safe bond with their parents or carer.

The best things to tell a parent or carer

Little ones

Don't worry; crying is normal and good for you, and it will go away on its own. But taking care of a baby who is crying can be very stressful, and you may feel angry and useless at times. Being aware of how it makes you feel is important. If you can, share that with someone you trust, like a partner, family member, or professional.

Keeping an eye on your baby can help you figure out why he or she is crying. Does your child cry more at certain times of the day? In different places? Does it sound different when they're hungry, when they want to be cuddled, or when they're bored?

Babies cry for no clear reason sometimes. Do your best to stay calm while you try to calm your baby down. This is because babies can sense when someone is upset. And if they notice that your body, face, or voice is tense, it can make them feel even worse.

Talk to your baby about what you think is making her upset. Babies' feelings can get too strong very quickly. Talking about how they feel can help them feel safe and heard, even if they don't stop crying right away.

Take a break if you feel like you're getting mad. Put your child somewhere safe, like their cot or Moses basket, and take a short break in another room.

Talk to someone you trust, like your health worker, GP, or someone at the children's center, if you are afraid about how much your baby cries or is having a hard time.

Young kids

Toddlers, like babies, need help from their parents and caregivers to understand and deal with their feelings, which they often show by crying. Staying cool, talking about how you might be feeling, and wondering with a child about what might be making them upset are all good ways to help them feel better. You could say, "You don't want to get in the buggy because you feel bad." You're not ready to go home because you had a great time playing here today.

What the health crisis did to people

Babies and little kids are very affected by the current health disaster, even though they can't understand what's going on. Young children can become uneasy when their habits change, when their parents or caretakers feel more anxious and stressed, or when they are separated from their grandparents and peers. They might cry more than normal because of this. It may also be harder for parents to deal with crying kids when they are stressed out.