Trauma
When you feel traumatized, you remember something very scary or upsetting. That's what happens when someone is so filled with strong feelings like fear or anxiety that their mind can't make sense of it. These feelings stay with the person and may change how they feel in the future. For instance, a loud noise might remind someone of a scary event from the past, like a car accident, making it scarier and more overwhelming than it would usually be.
A person can have acute trauma if they were exposed to one stressful event. Chronic trauma can happen after a stressful event has happened more than once. When someone has been through a lot of traumatic events, they may have complex trauma.
Trauma as a child
For example, being in an accident or natural disaster as a child could be a traumatic event. Or they could include being abused or neglected or seeing violence happen.
Some things that scare or traumatize an adult are likely to scare or traumatize a child even more. This is because a young child doesn't fully understand what's going on or why because they don't have much experience with the world and are still developing.
A child can really handle scary things better when they have an adult they trust with them—ideally an attachment figure. It is always traumatic for a child when a parent hurts them or doesn't care for them. The child is traumatized by both the abuse and the fact that it happened from someone they should be able to trust.
When someone is young, going through long-lasting and complicated trauma can change their personality and growth for a long time. Small children can make sense of upsetting events if they get the right help, and these events may not have as much of an adverse effect on their future prospects.
1. What are the signs that a child has experienced severe stress?
When helping a child who has been through trauma, the most important thing to remember is that the changes in their behavior are normal and obvious signs that they need help dealing with their feelings.
Depending on their age, personality, and life experiences up to that point, children will respond in different ways to different things. Some of the things below, on the other hand, are things that all babies and kids do. If you want to know if the child's behavior might be related to trauma, you should look at how long it lasts and what else is going on in their life.
Little ones
Babies are likely to show their anxiety physically, like by crying nonstop and not letting their caretaker calm them down.
When a baby is upset, they might also stiffen up, arch their back, squirm, or look like they aren't paying attention.
They may have trouble going to sleep, eating, playing, or settling down.
They might have hiccups that won't go away or throw up.
When babies are really stressed out, they might try to deal with it by cutting themselves off from their thoughts and the outside world. They might avoid making eye contact or talking to caregivers, or they might stare at lights or other things for a long time. They might not show a lot of different feelings.
For toddlers and little kids
Older babies and toddlers can talk about their feelings more openly than babies and toddlers, but they may still act out when they are upset. Behavioral changes may include more crying, fear, or clinginess with or after being away from caregivers (this is sometimes called "separation anxiety").
Having trouble sleeping, including having dreams
"Going backwards" in their growth, like when they are learning to use the toilet, talk, or do self-calming behaviors like thumb sucking
Getting more angry with caregivers, friends, or other adults
Not able to pay attention
Putting up with physical signs like stomachaches and headaches
Thoughts and images of traumatic events taking over your life. Some kids may use play to show how they're feeling, like by playing out traumatic events or strong emotions like fear, anger, or helplessness over and over again.
1. Trauma because of the health crisis?
There are many ways that the current health crisis could cause or make stress worse. The rapid death of a loved one can be hard for babies and young children (See also: Bereavement). It's more likely that they will be abused or neglected during times of lockdown and social withdrawal.
What does stress mean?
When you feel traumatized, you remember something very scary or upsetting. That's what happens when someone is so filled with strong feelings like fear or anxiety that their mind can't make sense of it. These feelings stay with the person and may change how they feel in the future. For instance, a loud noise might remind someone of a scary event from the past, like a car accident, making it scarier and more overwhelming than it would usually be.
A person can have acute trauma if they were exposed to one stressful event. Chronic trauma can happen after a stressful event has happened more than once. When someone has been through a lot of traumatic events, they may have complex trauma.
Trauma as a child
For example, being in an accident or natural disaster as a child could be a traumatic event. Or they could include being abused or neglected or seeing violence happen.
Some things that scare or traumatize an adult are likely to scare or traumatize a child even more. This is because a young child doesn't fully understand what's going on or why because they don't have much experience with the world and are still developing.
A child can really handle scary things better when they have an adult they trust with them—ideally an attachment figure. It is always traumatic for a child when a parent hurts them or doesn't care for them. The child is traumatized by both the abuse and the fact that it happened from someone they should be able to trust.
When someone is young, going through long-lasting and complicated trauma can change their personality and growth for a long time. Small children can make sense of upsetting events if they get the right help, and these events may not have as much of an adverse effect on their future prospects.
1. What are the signs that a child has experienced severe stress?
When helping a child who has been through trauma, the most important thing to remember is that the changes in their behavior are normal and obvious signs that they need help dealing with their feelings.
Depending on their age, personality, and life experiences up to that point, children will respond in different ways to different things. Some of the things below, on the other hand, are things that all babies and kids do. If you want to know if the child's behavior might be related to trauma, you should look at how long it lasts and what else is going on in their life.
Little ones
Babies are likely to show their anxiety physically, like by crying nonstop and not letting their caretaker calm them down.
When a baby is upset, they might also stiffen up, arch their back, squirm, or look like they aren't paying attention.
They may have trouble going to sleep, eating, playing, or settling down.
They might have hiccups that won't go away or throw up.
When babies are really stressed out, they might try to deal with it by cutting themselves off from their thoughts and the outside world. They might avoid making eye contact or talking to caregivers, or they might stare at lights or other things for a long time. They might not show a lot of different feelings.
For toddlers and little kids
Older babies and toddlers can talk about their feelings more openly than babies and toddlers, but they may still act out when they are upset. Behavioral changes may include more crying, fear, or clinginess with or after being away from caregivers (this is sometimes called "separation anxiety").
Having trouble sleeping, including having dreams
"Going backwards" in their growth, like when they are learning to use the toilet, talk, or do self-calming behaviors like thumb sucking
Getting more angry with caregivers, friends, or other adults
Not able to pay attention
Putting up with physical signs like stomachaches and headaches
Thoughts and images of traumatic events taking over your life. Some kids may use play to show how they're feeling, like by playing out traumatic events or strong emotions like fear, anger, or helplessness over and over again.
1. Trauma because of the health crisis?
There are many ways that the current health crisis could cause or make stress worse. The rapid death of a loved one can be hard for babies and young children (See also: Bereavement). It's more likely that they will be abused or neglected during times of lockdown and social withdrawal.
Help the family and children.
When adults think about kids who are upset, it hurts, and they might want to avoid or ignore these feelings in the hopes that they will go away. But kids who don't get help are left to deal with their bad feelings on their own, which could change how they see the world.
Little ones
Babies can't talk or think about their feelings or tell us directly about bad things that happened to them. Taking care of babies in the "here and now" is what they need most: help with how their events are affecting them.
Pay attention to what the baby is going through.
Having an adult who cares about your feelings and wants to help, even if it's hard or unpleasant, will help lessen the bad effects of stressful events.
Watch out for it.
A baby who stiffens or turns their eyes away when being held might need something else to calm them down, like a soft voice. You can react sensitively and help the baby deal with their feelings if you pay close attention to these signs.
Say it out loud.
You can always say what you think a baby is feeling. Even if they don't understand what you're saying, this will help them feel like you understand, especially if you speak in a soft, warm, and comforting way.
For toddlers and little kids
Young kids need help handling their emotions in the present, just like babies do. But once a kid starts using words and play to show what's going on in the world, you can start to help them understand and work through their feelings through play, stories, or even just talking about what happened. The most important thing is that the child should always be in charge of how this is done and what stage of growth the child is in.
Show that you're interested.
Listen and show the child that you want to understand what they are saying and what they are going through, even if you don't get it all right away.
Make sure they're okay with talking about it.
Tell them they can talk about how they feel at any time, even if it's about something scary or upsetting that has happened.
To show them how to do it, talk about how you feel.
Show the child how to act by being honest about your own feelings. But remember to stay calm so the child doesn't think they need to take care of you.
Give them names for how they feel.
You could say things like "cross" or "worried" to describe them. Some children may be able to name, draw, or talk about their feelings. For example, when they are angry, they might say that they feel like an "exploding volcano."
Tell them to think about how their feelings affect their bodies.
Kids should be told to think about how their bodies feel emotions. For instance, some kids get stomach aches when they are stressed. Don't forget that every child is different, so it's better to ask than to tell.
Tell them that how they feel and act is normal.
Assure kids that their actions or feelings, which may seem strange or scary, are normal responses to bad things that have happened.
As proper for their age, help them make sense of something that is making them confused.
It is very important to keep kids away from things that could scare or overload them. Also, kids can be confused about some very bad things that happen to them, and they might even start to blame themselves. So, sometimes it's very helpful to give a clear, age-appropriate answer.
Kids shouldn't be pushed if they aren't ready.
Follow the child's lead. Don't force kids to talk or think about things before they are ready. It's okay to ask about the past or how they're feeling (check in).
Don't let a child feel overwhelmed or dangerous when they're talking about their feelings.
Help kids feel safe when they are playing or talking about hard things that have happened to them. Getting very angry or stressed out makes it seem like these feelings are even harder to handle. Take a break and tell the child that it's your job to keep them safe and figure out how to help them the most. Here are some ideas for when and how to ask for help.
How to Ask for Help?
It's hard to help a baby or young child who has been through a traumatic event. Adults who care for kids who are having a hard time with strong emotions can find it sad and scary to watch. Adults often worry that they will mess up, and they might need help dealing with their thoughts. You should always get help, but it's especially important to do so if the child's behavior and bad moods seem to be getting worse over time,or if the signs of trauma and worry last for a month or more.
It's important to talk to your doctor if you are worried about a child after a stressful event or experience. If the problems don't go away, your doctor may suggest that you get extra help from the child and teen mental health service in your area.
Advice to give parents?
The following tips can be given to parents when it makes sense:
Let your kids know it's okay to feel scared or angry after something scary happens.
It's never too early to talk about how you think your baby or young child might be feeling. Even with very young babies, it's best to use a warm, gentle, and comforting tone of voice.
Tell them they can talk about how they feel at any time, even if it's about something scary or upsetting that has happened.
If you talk about your feelings, it will show them that it's okay. But remember to stay calm so the child doesn't think they need to take care of you.
You should try to help kids understand what went on. Kids can get confused after stressful events and think they are to blame. Try to keep your explanations easy and stay away from any details that could be scary or upsetting.
Don't force the child to talk if they don't seem ready.