Two siblings fighting
How normal is it?
A kid who is older than you might feel a range of emotions when a new baby is born. These could include excitement and happiness, as well as anger, sadness, and resentment. A young child and their baby sister or brother may not get along because they are always competing for their parents' love and attention.
Staff in the early years can do a lot to help the bigger child feel like they are still loved and important as "their own little person."
Next, we'll talk about how children can show sibling rivalry and how early years staff can help any kids in their care who may be having this problem.
Early years staff who work directly with families will also be talked about. They may be able to help these families support the older kids and make things easier for them before and after the baby is born.
Signs that a brother is fighting
There are a lot of different ways for siblings to show their dislike for each other. For example, the bigger child might try to hurt the baby or tell the baby to leave.
show love for the new baby but are cold or difficult to one or both parents, and become very distant.
show regressions in their development, like sucking their thumb, wanting to be carried around, having accidents, or asking to drink from a bottle. This could be because they are trying to meet the needs of a baby child.
behave the same way at home but act out in a difficult way at childcare or with the childcare worker
Some problems might not show up until the younger sibling is a little older, and they might be caused by things like sharing toys or other things, getting new friends, or starting to go to the same preschool as their sibling. Other times when things can go wrong are when younger kids become more independent and don't seem to need their bigger sister or brother as much as they used to. When they are kids, brothers and sisters may be close at times and not so close at other times.
1 Tips on how to help older brothers in your setting after a baby is born
Help them talk about how they feel about the new baby.
The older child can talk about how they feel about having a sister and how things are going at home with your help. For kids, it can be hard to understand and talk about how they feel. They may need you to name some typical feelings, like sadness, anger, excitement, and happiness. You can bring yourself into this and talk about how you might have felt when you were young and a brother came along.
Make babies, dolls, and play things.
Young children often use play and toys to talk about their thoughts and feelings. You can watch the child play and be on the lookout for themes that involve birth, relatives, and family life. Kids often put their thoughts and feelings onto toys and characters. You can use these times to name the characters' complicated feelings and make them feel normal, without talking about the child or their situation directly.
Spend time with them and pay attention to them.
Children may miss having their parent or caretaker's full attention when a new baby comes along. It's important to set aside time to give extra comfort and attention to an older child who may be having problems with sibling competition.
Different ways to Help a family get ready for the birth of a new brother by getting the older child ready.
What kids understand about a new baby will depend on how old they are and what stage of growth they are in. Even very young children will be aware that their parents may have a new interest, even if they don't fully understand it. They may also notice that their mom's stomach is getting bigger. Little kids might be scared about what it will be like to have a brother and having to share their parents or caretakers with the new baby. Helping parents and other adults who care for the child get ready for a sibling is important.
Getting the news across to the child
Parents or caretakers should tell the older kid that there will be a new baby in the family in a way that is simple and right for their age. In order to talk about the new baby, they could show a scan and say, "Look, you're going to have a baby brother or sister. The baby is going to grow slowly inside mommy's tummy." They can talk about babies and what they do, like how they eat, sleep, and cry, by showing pictures or videos of the bigger child when they were a baby. They can also talk about kids that the child already knows.
Putting the child at ease and being honest
Tell the child's parents or caretakers that it's important to talk about what to expect and the pros and cons of having a brother without making the child feel too much. One of the benefits might be being able to love and care for the kid. One bad thing about babies is that they cry a lot and need a lot of time and care. They should know how important it is to let the older child know that they will still love them even though there is a new baby. You can let them know that it's okay to not always be happy about the baby's birth and to feel angry, upset, jealous, and worried. The child will want to hear that they are still loved and important, so parents and caregivers should know that.
Having the child take part